


The iPhone Approach

by distant_rose



Series: Little Pirates [15]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Big Brother!Henry, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Future Fic, Henry!centric, Sassy Children are Sassy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distant_rose/pseuds/distant_rose
Summary: Henry Mills arrives home to Storybrooke to find that his half-brother Harrison has a crush and is in dire need of advice on how to deal with said crush.





	The iPhone Approach

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize with how late this is. I wanted this up like last Wednesday, but life got a hold of me as I had to be a part of my cousin’s wedding. It was great, but I’m glad it’s over. Now, I can focus on the absurdity that has become Little Pirates. I have twelve installments pending. That’s absurd. It’s mad. I don’t know how it happened. Anyway, I really love Henry and I legit plotted such an amazing relationship between him and his siblings that he deserves some focus in the Little Pirates verse, so here’s some Henry, some Harrison and some sassy Beth. As always, thank you welpthisishappening for being the light of my life. Questions, comments, concerns or whatever - come flail at me @ distant-rose.tumblr.com

Though he no longer lived in Storybrooke, it still felt like he was coming home whenever he returned to the sleepy Maine town. He always arrived with a hero's welcome; people stopping and embracing him in the street. Archie clapping him out the back and asking about his recent successes while Granny would greet him with a smile and a free slice of cake. His adoptive mother Regina would always take him out for dinner, feeding him expensive lobster while putting him through a second Inquisition about the on-goings of his life. He loved Regina, truly loved her, but nothing was better than arriving at his biological mother Emma’s house and having his little siblings run towards him as fast as their legs could carry them and near tackling him on the front lawn while his mother laughed and his stepfather Hook smirked. 

Growing up, Henry had always wanted little brothers and sisters to play with, but had accepted at a young age it would be incredibly unlikely and that he would spend the rest of his days as an only child. Everything changed when a few months after the Final Battle, Emma and Hook had shyly handed him a t-shirt with the title “World’s Best Older Brother” printed across the chest. He had been in shock and Emma had started rambling about how he was her firstborn and a new baby wouldn’t replace him, but he had cut her off with a hug and had reminded her that he always wanted siblings. 

Now, he had more little siblings than he knew what to do with.

Harrison, the eldest of his younger siblings, was near seventeen and still had yet to curve to enthusiasm of his hugs; thundering down the steps of old house and nearly squeezing the life out of Henry as his arms wrapped around his shoulders. Despite being fourteen years his junior, teenaged Harrison was already a taller and larger man than Henry was so whenever he hugged Henry it felt like he was being swallowed by a mountain.

Even Wes and Beth, who had grown feisty and more aloof in their teenaged years, would set aside their anti-adult agenda and look at him like a god; often hanging on his every word whenever he spoke about the new happenings in his life. Beth would curl into his side, hugging his arm and laugh as freely as she did when she was little girl while Wes would watch his every movement with rapid attention. His blue eyes would never leave Henry's form and sometimes he would even mimic his body language. At first Henry had found it a little unnerving but had grown to accept it; imitation was the greatest form of flattery.

And then, there was Neddy who broke his heart every time Henry saw him. Neddy, the youngest of Henry’s siblings, was growing like a weed and kept getting bigger and bigger every time Henry saw him. It amazed him how fast the baby that they had affectionately called “Bug” was becoming a charming, thoughtful little boy who seemed to have skipped out on the Jones rambunctiousness. Where Harrison, Beth and Wes would always fidget and couldn’t sit still for very long, Neddy was content to blob himself down on someone’s lap and let himself be adored. He seemed to enjoy burrowing himself into Henry’s chest and having his eldest brother comb his hands through those untamable curls, closing his eyes and listening as Henry updated them all on the comings and goings in his life.

This time, however, he had no Neddy, no Beth, no Wes and not even a smirking Hook to hug him and give him a firm manly pat on the back. Just his biological mother looking haggard and worn while Harrison looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. Both of them gave him half-heartedly hugs and despite Harrison’s lack of enthusiasm, Henry still felt like he was being swallowed by a mountain. He chuckled a bit at that.

“Where is everyone?” Henry asked as he released Emma from his arms.

“Killian and I had an emergency call last night and we didn’t get home until five in the morning, so he was kind enough to let me sleep in and went the station early. Beth is with your grandparents. She and Ruthie had a slumber party and I’m pretty sure I’ll get a full report from my mother how much damage your sister caused to the barn later today. Wes is now doing the paper route with Gideon so he left at the crack of dawn. I’m also pretty sure I’m also going to get a full report on how many windows they’ve broken. And Neddy is at...camp,” Emma fired off, ending the explanation with a yawn.

“Camp? Isn’t Bug too young for camp?” Henry frowned. He did a mental calculation in his head to make sure that Neddy suddenly wasn’t older than he remembered. Nope, the kid was still seven. He felt a bit of relief. He didn’t need Neddy to get any older. The kid was already growing up too fast for his liking.

“Well, he’s supposed to be eight for sleepover baseball camp, but he’s following in Harrison’s footsteps of doing things younger than he should. Jim Holt, Katheryn’s new husband? You remember him right? Well, he’s the baseball coach for little league and he is convinced that we have the next Aaron Judge, whatever that means, on our hands so he made an exception,” Emma replied, rubbing his eyes.

Henry had never felt so out of the loop until that moment. The last time he had been in Storybrooke was only a few months ago and he was pretty sure that Neddy had been obsessed with dinosaurs then and wanted to be a paleontologist; it had been painfully adorable to watch him say such an advanced word with enthusiasm and then explain exactly what a paleontologist was to an already knowing Henry.

“I didn’t even realized Bug liked baseball…” he muttered, running his hand through his hair.

“Bug is obsessed with baseball. He can probably tell you the pitching rotation for the Yankees if you asked, but only if you asked. Bug’s smart and he keeps the baseball talk on the down low. It’s a bit of a sore subject with Dad,” Harrison replied, slapping a hand on Henry’s shoulder.

Henry’s confusion only grew with Harrison’s words. He couldn’t imagine his stepfather being anything but supportive of their interests. When Henry was seventeen, Hook had pretended to care about motorcycles because Henry wanted one so badly and when he had finally gotten his old battered motorcycle, he had even helped with the repairs. This had continued with the younger ones. When Harrison wanted to learn how to do card tricks, Hook had helped. Despite his dislike of magic, Hook had helped find books on magic for Westley. He had even helped Beth give a stuffed animal “surgery” when it’s arm had fallen off. Why Hook wouldn’t be just as supportive of Neddy’s love for baseball was beyond him.

“Well, baseball is a two-handed sport, Henry,” Harrison said with a sad smile. “You can’t necessarily play it when you’ve got a hook for a hand. I mean he can throw, but he can’t catch. He can’t even swing a bat. You should have seen his face when Neddy asked David to play catch with him. I actually thought Dad was gonna cry.”

“He was cool with Bug going to baseball camp though?” Henry asked, still frowning.

Both Emma and Harrison tensed at bit at the question and shared a looked. Everyone kept going on about how much Harrison looked like Hook, but in this moment, Henry could only see their mother in his mannerisms. They had the same nervous expression, complete with tense shoulders and an identical small shaky smile.

“Well, he knows that Bug is at camp…” Emma trailed, looking at Harrison to back her up.

“He just doesn’t know it’s particularly baseball camp that he’s at,” Harrison finished, scratching a bit behind his left ear and shifting from side to side as if the power of Henry’s stare was enough to make him squirm.

“Great,” Henry laughed with false cheer. “So, you’re not entirely lying to Hook. You’re just not telling the truth either. Glad not much has changed over the years.”

“Henry Daniel!” Emma exclaimed, sounding half-shocked and half-indignant. She placed her hands on her hips and assumed what Henry liked to call “mom pose” since both Regina and Emma had a habit of standing like that whenever they were pissed at him.

“I’m a thirty-two-year-old man, Mom, you can’t send me to my room anymore when you don’t like what I have to say,” Henry responded with a slight roll of his eyes. “But in all seriousness, Hook deserves to know that Bug is at baseball camp even if it hurts.”

There was a silent terse moment between mother and son. Emma stared Henry down with a stern look, but Henry refused to bend, especially when he knew he was in the right. While he knew that for the most part, Hook and Emma had a very good relationship, he was also aware that they had idiot moments where they felt the need to hide things in order to keep each other from getting upset. Henry found it a bit juvenile but even the best relationships weren’t exactly perfect. His grandparents on both sides had the same habit, which led Henry to believe it might be a genetic thing. Henry saw Harrison shift uncomfortably in the corner of his eye.

“How about we go to Granny’s and catch up on everything?” Harrison asked awkwardly after a moment.

Henry sighed and glanced over at his younger brother, who seemed to be screaming with his eyes to let it go and to just agree with the plan. He was practically vibrating with nervous energy and though Harrison was now seventeen, Henry could see still the intelligent but incredibly anxious child who used to hide behind Henry’s leg when he’s feeling particularly shy. Harrison did not like it when there was conflict in the family, which really put him at odds with Wes who seemed to thrive on chaos. However, Harrison had been doing better with tackling all the absurd issues that had happened over the years ever since Archie had prescribed him an anxiolytic to take, but he still did not like it whenever his family fought.

“Sounds great, Har,” Henry replied with a tight smile before shooting Emma a quick look to let her know that he wasn’t going to let the issue go.

Henry patted Harrison on the shoulder as they started their walk towards the middle of town. Briefly, he missed the days when Harrison was smaller than he was and he could wrap an arm around his little brother, but those days had long since passed.

Granny Lucas, as predicted, smiled broadly when they entered the diner, but instead of hugging Henry, she made a beeline for Harrison and hugged him around the middle. Harrison’s face flushed scarlet for a moment before he smiled and patted the old woman on the back.

“I’m assuming that the hug is because the jukebox works again?” Harrison asked and Henry could hear a bit of amusement in his voice.

“Exactly, all thanks to my favorite handyman,” Granny responded, before reaching up on her toes to pat Harrison on the cheek fondly. “You, my boy, have a gift and because of that gift, your bacon, egg and cheese sandwich is on the house.”

“My bacon, egg and cheese is always on the house,” Harrison said with a shake of his head, but his eyes held the same fondness the old woman did.

“And you!” Granny Lucas turned her attention from Harrison to Henry. “I haven’t seen you in ages, Mr. Mills. I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about me!”

Henry let out a merry laugh in respond, smiling as Granny Lucas let go of Harrison in order to give him the hug that he had been quietly waiting for ever since they had entered the diner. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a fierce hug of his own.

“I could never forget about you, Granny,” he replied with a laugh.

“You were always a sweet one, Henry Mills. I don’t have any cake. It’s too early. But how about some pie? I have some blueberry pie waiting with your name on it if you want it,” she offered as she appraised him.

“Well, it’s never too early for pie.”

Granny gave Henry his own pat on the cheek before leading them over to their designated booth. She didn’t bother asking for their orders or even giving them a menu, but rather turned to a harassed looking waitress and gestured for her to go get drinks.

Henry sat opposite of his mother and next to Harrison, glancing around the diner. It was a late Saturday morning and the entire placed was packed with people who were all in various stages of eating and ordering their breakfast. He was slightly unnerved by the fact that he didn’t recognize half of them. Storybrooke was a small town and he had grown up knowing nearly everyone but this was no longer the case.

A waitress arrived with two mugs of coffee and a hot chocolate. She placed the hot chocolate in front of Emma while handing off the coffees to Henry and Harrison. Henry frowned as he watched his younger brother take a sip.

“I didn’t think you liked coffee…” Henry said, gesturing towards the mug.

“I don’t, but I like staying awake,” Harrison responded absently.

“Should you be drinking that while you’re on anti-anxiety medication, Har? I mean, caffeine isn’t supposed to be good for people with that kind of stress. I’ve read a lot of reports on how it enhances insomnia, panic attacks and shakes,” Henry started to lecture, but stopped when he realized that Harrison wasn’t even paying attention. His entire being was focused on whatever was happening over by the bar.

Henry followed Harrison’s line to sight and nearly did a double take when he realized exactly who Harrison was staring at. It took him a moment to recognize her, but Jasmine of Agrabah was sitting at the counter with a mug of tea with a teenaged girl who Henry could only assume was her daughter because she resembled Jasmine just as strikingly as Harrison resembled Hook. She was a small but pretty thing with long raven black hair and kind brown eyes. Like her mother she was dressed in jade colored silks and golden jewelry. She seemed to realize that someone was watching her and she turned her head towards Harrison, meeting his gaze. She offered him a small shy smile, which Harrison returned.

It hit Henry like a ton of bricks. Harrison had a crush.

Henry was used to girls looking at Harrison. Since he turned thirteen, Harrison had attracted looks, which never surprised Henry because he was a good looking kid. It had taken him awhile to accept that people found his baby brother, whose diapers Henry had changed more times than he could count, sexually attractive but it had always helped that Harrison had consistently and purposely ignored these looks. As handsome as Harrison was, he didn't seem trust anyone and was under the impression that the girls didn't like him for who he was but rather who his parents were. It didn't necessarily help that everyone seemed to trip up and call Harrison "Hook" once and awhile.

No, people looked at Harrison but Harrison didn't look back. Until now. Henry wasn't sure how he felt about this.

"Henry," Emma called impatiently, breaking him away from his revelation. "Henry, Harrison can drink coffee. It was one of the first things I looked up when Archie prescribed it to him. What kind of mother do you think I am?"

"You're a good one, Mom," Henry admitted with a smile. "But people have a habit of keeping ridiculous things from each other in this family."

Emma rolled her eyes at his words, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Thin ice, kid. Thin ice."

A waitress arrived shortly with a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel, a generous slice of blueberry pie and a short stack of pancakes. Henry took his pie with a smile and glanced over at Harrison who was looking at down at his breakfast sandwich then back at the girl next to Jasmine at the bar. Henry watched as Harrison seemed to come to a decision.

"I'm gonna get ketchup," Harrison said finally, placing his napkin next to his plate and getting up.

Henry frowned in confusion at Harrison’s announcement. He glanced towards the end of the table, spying a bottle of ketchup next to the salt and pepper shakers. He snorted. The boy was up to something and Henry would bet good money it had to do with the girl sitting next to Jasmine.

"I really don't want to fight while you're home, Henry," Emma said quietly.

"And I really don't want you to lie to my father. I know you don't mean it maliciously, but how hurt is Hook gonna be when he finds out?"

Emma said nothing in response, focusing all of her attention on her short stack, attacking them viciously with her fork. Not wanting to wait for a response he knew he wasn't going to get, Henry decided to focus his attention on Harrison who was leaning against the bar and chatting with Jasmine's daughter. Both of them were still wearing shy smiles and Harrison's cheeks with stained with a faint blush. The girl in question, kept giggling and looking down at her feet while playing with her hair. Was this what he and Violet looked like when they had spoken for the first time?

Henry took a sip of his coffee as he continued to watch them. The size difference was almost comical. Even sitting on one of the bar chairs, the girl looked rather small and Harrison, even while slouching, seemed impossibly large. People were normally intimidated by Harrison's size upon meeting him but it didn't take most long to realize that Harrison was more nervous about them than they were about him. The kid had a heart almost as large as he was and he cared so much about what people thought. However, at the moment Harrison didn't look as anxious as he normally did. He looked suspiciously pleased. Still nervous, but also pleased.

Henry felt a mixture of emotions quell in him as he continued to observe them. He felt some pride in the fact that Harrison was having a conversation with a girl without looking like he wanted to jump out of his skin and get away from her as soon as possible. This was a long time coming. She seemed to be as into him as he was in her, which was a good sign. It probably helped that she was new in town and didn’t have the same expectations of him that everyone else seemed to have. However, Henry was still uneasy. This was his kid brother. Though he was now seventeen and the size of a small skyscraper, Harrison would also be the little boy who Henry named and would cuddle with him as they watched Star Wars. There was a flare of protectiveness there. He didn’t want him getting hurt. Harrison was special and he didn’t want that big heart of his being broken over some girl.

Henry glanced back at his mother who was sipping on her coffee and looked lost to the world, caught in the web of her own thoughts. She didn’t seem to realize that her seventeen-year old son had taken ten minutes on a “ketchup run.” He knew he wasn’t going to get any headway on the baseball camp front, so he decided to switch gears a bit.

“So…this is that what I looked like when I was mooning over Violet?” Henry asked casually as he took a sip from his coffee.

Emma nearly spat out her drink at the question. Henry smiled in amusement as she harshly swallowed. She winced a bit and Henry was pretty sure she had burned her mouth.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, placing her hot chocolate down on the table shakily.

The mug wobbled against the linoleum, hot liquid splashing over the side. Emma sighed and dabbed at the spill with her paper napkin.

“Har,” Henry nodding his nod towards the counter with a broad grin. “He’s over there, talking to Jasmine’s girl. Honestly, it’s kinda funny to see him all lovestruck. I mean, look at those ears, they’re bright red.”

Emma’s eyes went wide and she immediately turned her head to look towards the bar where Harrison was now laughing at whatever the girl had said. His head was tilted back, green eyes crinkling and it reminded Henry of the way his stepfather and mother were whenever they thought know no one watching. The girl brushed her hair over her shoulder, obviously pleased with Harrison’s reaction. Henry glanced back at Emma who was staring at her son in a mixture of disbelief, shock and maternal protectiveness. She looked torn between wanting to snatch her son away and wanting to see where Harrison and this girl would go.

“Harrison is talking to a girl…” Emma breathed in disbelief.

“Yeah. It shouldn’t be surprising. I mean, he’s a good-looking kid. It was bound to happen someday,” Henry replied with a casual shrug.

“Shut up. You know what I mean,” Emma said, leaning over the table to push Henry’s shoulder. “Harrison is so shy around people. People talk to him, he just mumbles unless it’s us. He’s a great kid but no one seems to realize he actually does have this crazy sarcastic personality because he just shells up around anyone who isn’t family. I mean, he’s honest to god having a conversation with her. This never happens.”

“Well, to be honest Mom, Harrison has never talked to anyone who wasn’t from Storybrooke before. I mean, I hate to say it, but growing up with you and Hook as parents couldn’t have been the easiest. Everyone expects him to be like you. It’s a lot of pressure. I was actually gonna suggest that he spent the summer with me so he can get out of here and realize there’s more to the world than what’s going on in Storybrooke.”

Emma’s lips pursed more at his words and Henry caught a hint of guilt in her expression. She glanced down at her mug of hot chocolate, releasing a small sigh.

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea,” she half-said, half-mumbled. “Though, I thought the music thing was really helping him. I mean, he’s really good and you should see how calm he gets whenever he’s playing. You can’t even tell that he’s an anxious mess half the time.”

“I have seen him play and he’s pretty awesome at guitar. A regular Jimi Hendrix without the drugs. And I agree that music has been a great outlet for him, but I don’t think it’s enough. Seriously, one summer with me where he’s just a normal kid. I think it would do him a world of good.” Henry tossed out his pitch again.

Emma wasn't paying attention to him anymore. Her focus was back on the pair of teenagers at the bar and her expression was growing more and more concerned. Henry glanced back at Harrison and the girl and his eyes went wide as he witnessed the girl shift her hand over Harrison's on the countertop, her thumb rubbing his. He expected then for Harrison to shy away from the obvious affection, but he didn't. Harrison merely glanced down at their hands then looked back up at her with a smile and continued the conversation as normal. Henry wasn’t sure if he felt proud of Harrison or ready to jump out of his own skin over the fact this was even happening.

"I think I need to Jasmine about her Agrabah problem at the station," Emma stated faintly.

"Can't you talk to her here? I mean she's right there," Henry respond, gesturing with his hand towards the woman in question.

"I don't think Jasmine wants me discussing her problems in public," Emma responded quickly.

"Or you're just feeling protective of your baby boy. He's fine, Mom."

Emma didn't respond, she just got up from her seat and went over to Jasmine. She gently touched the Queen of Agrabah's shoulder and gestured towards the door. Jasmine quietly agreed before nudging her daughter and breaking the conversation between the girl and Harrison. Henry watched as the grin on Harrison's smile melted away in a blatant look of disappointment. The girl looked equally dismayed by this and gave Harrison an apologetic look. Henry sighed, rubbing his temples. Trust Emma Swan to let her over protective mom instincts ruin Harrison's big moment.

As Jasmine and her daughter paid their bill, Emma returned to the table.

"I'm heading over to the station so Jasmine and I can talk. Do you mind staying here and paying the bill?"

"Sure. But that was unnecessary. Harrison finally takes to a girl and you freak out. Why can't you just be happy for him?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Henry gave her a disbelieving look.

"Our brave little mountain deserves to be happy and have little hill babies," Henry said, holding back a smirk as his mother's face turned purple.

"Henry Daniel Mills, I am not afraid to smack you across the ear."

“Not fourteen anymore, Mom,” he chided her gently.

Before the conversation could go any further, Henry’s younger sister Beth made her appearance, swinging casually around Emma and into the seat their mother had once occupied. She picked up a strawberry which had been lining Emma’s plate and popped it into her mouth unabashedly.

“Hey Henry. I didn’t know you were in town this weekend,” Beth greeted, red berry staining her lips and teeth as she spoke. She looked positively ridiculous with strawberry juice messily dripping over her mouth and chin but also incredibly tired. Henry couldn’t imagine the shenanigans she and Ruthie had gotten up to the night before. He hoped that his grandmother and grandfather weren’t dead from the combined efforts of Henry’s sister and young aunt.

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I would pop by. Heard you slept over in the barn last night. You have fun, Little Beth?” Henry asked, bringing his coffee mug back up to his lips to hide his smile.

“I didn’t blow it up, if that’s what you’re subtly trying to ask,” she replied, helping herself to Emma’s pancakes by taking a generous bite.

She chewed thoughtfully for a moment before drizzling a generous amount of maple syrup onto the short stack. Henry saw Emma’s jaw clench out of the corner of his eye and did his best to keep from snickering.

“You know what? I’m not even mad that you just sat down and helped yourself to my breakfast,” Emma said finally in a tight voice. “I have to go to the station with Jasmine to talk about her Agrabah issues. You two can stay here and pay the bill with Harrison. Have fun!”

Emma gave them a half-hearted wave goodbye before heading out of the diner, shaking her head as she went. When she finally left the establishment, Henry allowed himself to chuckle a little bit.

“Where’s Har Bear?” Beth frowned, tilting her head to side and looking at the empty space next to the Henry in the booth as if she somehow expected him to just appear there. Perhaps she was under the impression that their brother owned an invisibility cloak. The thought made Henry snort.

“He’s at the bar. Talking to a girl,” Henry responded, trying to be nonchalant.

Beth blinked for a moment, glanced over at the top where the girl was saying her goodbyes to Harrison before heading off to follow Jasmine and Emma out of the diner. She scoffed, rolled her eyes in a typical teenage fashion before taking another bite out of Emma’s pancakes and taking out her phone.

“Ah. Nasira,” she responded in a dismissive tone. “He’s nuts for her. She likes the fact he can play guitar and that she doesn’t know how uncool he is. It will pass.”

“Nasira?” Henry asked, raising his eyebrows in silent inquiry.

“Yeah, Nasira. Jasmine’s daughter. The one who keeps making eyes at Harrison, which is totally gross for the record. Unless you’re talking about some other girl. Like maybe Harrison finally lost and decided to give one of the Baby Hook fangirls a chance,” Beth clarified while continuing to stuff her face with pancakes.

“Baby…Hook…fangirls…?” Henry repeated slowly, feeling entirely weirded out by the phrase alone.

Beth gave him another knowing smirk that was pure Killian Jones and it was so eerie to see it on her that Henry nearly shivered. That type of expression did not belong on a thirteen-year-old girl’s face.

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answer to, Henry.”

“I shudder to think what questions he’s asking,” Harrison said lightly as he returned to the table, giving them both a flickering smile that didn’t necessarily reach his eyes.

Henry automatically moved over to make more room for his brother, shifting himself and his pie further down in the booth. Harrison gave a nod of thanks before sitting back down beside Henry and picking up his sandwich. Beth gave them both an unimpressed look before returning to her phone, fingers tapping against the screen at almost an alarming rate. Henry was certain no one texted faster than his sister.

“So…no ketchup?” Henry asked after a brief moment of silence.

Harrison blinked, looking at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Did Granny not have ketchup? I mean, that’s the whole reason you left in the first place, right?” Henry asked slyly, trying and failing not to smile. He saw Beth glance up from her phone briefly at the corner of his eye to watch the exchange.

“No. No ketchup,” Harrison said quickly, taking another huge bite of his bagel sandwich in a not so subtle attempt to keep from talking.

“Good thing that we have a perfectly full bottle right here then,” Henry said casually, picking up the ketchup bottle at the end of the table and placing it in front of him. Harrison’s eyes bulged at the sight of it and Beth cackled with wicked delight.

“Smooth, Jones, smooth,” Beth snickered, completely ignoring the daggers that Harrison was shooting at her with his eyes.

“Awesome. Thanks, Henry!” Harrison replied with false cheer, taking the ketchup bottle and placing it next to his plate. He made no move to open it or put any sauce on his sandwich or plate, but Henry didn’t expect him to.

“I honestly don’t know who you’re trying to fool. Harrison, I changed your diapers. I named you after the coolest actor in Hollywood history. I know you don’t put ketchup on your sandwiches. You hate ketchup. You call it the Devil’s sauce. So, let’s cut to the chase. Who’s the girl?”

Harrison’s entire face flushed scarlet; even the tips of his ears are a bit red. Henry and Beth watched him with quirked eyebrows and ghosting smiles.

“What girl?” Harrison asked, playing dumb.

Both Henry and Beth groaned at his response, sharing an exasperated look across the table. Beth gave Henry a shrug as if to say “I don’t know what to tell you” before returning her attention to her phone, obviously losing patience with Harrison.

“Really? That’s the answer you’re going with?” Henry asked, shaking his head.

“This is both painful and pitiful,” Beth remarked, rolling her eyes.

“Honestly, kid, I thought we were closer than this and that you were better than this.” Henry said, giving his younger brother a look. “You literally were just talking to her. I saw you plainly. The puppy looks. The near hand holding. The smiling. The fact that you actually didn’t choke on your own tongue. Give us the goods.”

“Fine, fine!” Harrison exclaimed with a huff, lifting his hands up in mock surrender. “Her name is Nasira. She’s the crown princess of Agrabah.”

Henry couldn’t help his grin.

“Look at you! Finding yourself an actual princess! You’re doing the real Han Solo proud!” Henry crowed. “What is she like?”

“She’s really sweet, likes mint tea and wants to see me play guitar. She also sees me for just me. Not just as an extension of Mom and Dad. She’s also way out of my league,” Harrison responded with a sigh.

“You gotta stop putting yourself down, Har,” Henry said with a frown. “I know you don’t think you are, but you’re amazing catch. You’re, and never tell Hook I’m quoting him on this because I will never hear the end of it, “devilishly handsome”, got a good head on your shoulders, one of the best hearts I know and you’re a musician. Girls love musicians. Right, Beth?”

“Sure,” Beth responded half-heartedly, focused on whatever was happening on her phone.

“Real supportive there, Little Beth, real supportive. I thought you had my back on this,” Henry admonished her.

“Eh. You don’t need me. You’re doing a stellar awkward pep talk on your own. Don’t need my help there,” she said, stealing Henry’s coffee mug and taking a sip.

“Seriously?” Henry asked, gesturing to the mug in mild annoyance. “You can’t order your own?”

“Pirate,” she replied, still not looking up from her phone. “Things taste better when they’re been pilfered.”

“Do you even know what the word ‘pilfered’ means?” Harrison asked, taking a drink from his own mug.

At the question, Beth looked up from her phone and gave her brother the dirtiest look she was capable of. She looked disturbingly like Emma.

“I’m not an idiot,” she said, voice dripping with disdain. “Pilfered, verb, past tense. It means to steal, generally in reference to things of little value. Synonyms are steal, thieve, take, snatch, loot or purloin. It was the SAT word of the week. College Board loves to send that crap to the family email. I was looking for an invoice from Apple about all the music I may or may not have downloaded this weekend when I read it. Dropped thirty dollars. Mom would have lost it if she found out.”

Henry debated telling Beth that their mother was going to find out about the missing thirty dollars when she looked at the banking statements, but decided against it. It seemed like a lesson that needed to be learned. Beth was getting a little too big for her britches. Being knocked down a few pegs would do her some good. Instead, Henry decided to focus back on the subject of Harrison’s girl situation.

“So, you like this girl?”

“Like her? She’s amazing and perfect and wonderful,” Harrison responded, looking down at his plate.

“You should ask her out. I’m sure Hook is more than happy to give you some suggestions,” Henry said gently.

“No!” Harrison replied, almost violently. “No. We are not getting Dad involved in this. The second Dad gets involved, I’m screwed. I mean, I love him. He’s great, but we are two different people. Very different people. He’s all big gestures and extroverted and I’m…an awkward turtle.”

Beth snickered across the table at Harrison’s self-lamentation. Henry leaned forward and gave her a swift kick in the shin in order to silence her. The snickering stopped, but Henry was given a scathing look from his younger sister for his efforts. He rose his eyebrows in silent challenge. Beth merely rolled her eyes and went back to her phone.

“You’re not an awkward turtle, Har. You’re sweet. And she seems to like sweet,” Henry said, placing his hand on Harrison’s shoulder. “And yeah, I kinda get it. I was a bit like you when I was younger, reserved and such. I might have something that could help you in a more subtle fashion.”

Harrison’s eyes lit up and he looked at Henry like he was his personal savior. Henry was used to his siblings looking up to him and admiring him, but this was more worshipful. It was like Harrison thought he was giving him salvation and maybe to a seventeen-year-old kid, he was.

“Tell me everything,” Harrison practically begged in a voice barely above a whisper. “I am your ever eager apprentice. Your padawan. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

Henry laughed.

“Calm down, Skywalker,” he said, still chuckling. He shifted in his seat, placing a hand in his pocket to pull out his phone. “This magical device right here is an iPhone. I’m pretty sure you have one. It is a powerful tool that will win the heart of any fair maiden who is not of this realm.”

The look of worship and hope melted off Harrison’s face in a near instance. He looked at the phone in Henry’s hand than back at Henry’s face before looking at the phone again. His face was colored in a variety of emotions, mainly disbelief and annoyance.

“You’re joking,” he scoffed.

“Not even remotely.”

Harrison stared at him for a moment, jaw working in frustration. Henry would have actually felt threatened by it if it had been on his stepfather’s face rather than his younger brother’s. Harrison was a mountain of a human being, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly unless he felt he had to.

“A phone? Really? You should quit your job as a writer and go into advertising for Apple. I actually kinda hate you right now.”

Henry couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Impossible. I’m your favorite older brother,” Henry stated with a grin. “And don’t knock the phone. It might get you laid. Hell, it got me my first girlfriend. Violet, remember her?”

“Bullshit,” Harrison exclaimed, shaking his head. “This is insane. You’re insane. I’m being serious right now and you’re just messing with me. Henry, for real, I know this is funny to you, but I really like her and I want to ask her out, but I’m like the farthest thing from cool.”

“Damn straight you’re not cool.” Wes’s voice called from above them.

Both Harrison and Henry looked up to see their younger brother approach and slide into the booth next to Beth, effectively shoving her to the side. She glared at him, giving him an elbow in the ribs, but Wes was more focused on Henry and Harrison. A small smirk was fixed upon his lips and his eyes were dancing with mischief. He looked positively up to no good.

“Hey Henry,” Wes said, taking the mug that Beth had stolen and taking a sip as well. Henry internally sighed. Nothing seemed to be sacred in this family. “Long time, no see.”

“Hey Westley. Still in fine form I see,” Henry returned the greeting, leaning forward and taking his rightful coffee mug directly out of Wes’s hands and reclaiming it by taking a drink. Wes scowled, but Henry ignored it.

“So, why are we talking about Harrison’s rather obvious uncool-ness for?” Wes asked, deciding to not fight Henry on the coffee issue and instead focusing on needling his other older brother.

Harrison’s jaw clenched.

“Do not make me lift you over my head in front of this entire diner,” Harrison hissed. Henry’s jaw nearly dropped at the threat. He knew that Harrison was more than capable of bench pressing anyone in Granny’s Diner, but Harrison had never been one for violence.

Wes didn’t look taken aback though. If anything, he looked amused, as if he had gotten the reaction he wanted.

“Calm down, Superman. No need to get feisty. What’s got you all riled up this morning? Lex Luther pee in your cornflakes?”

“Harrison is freaked out because he likes a girl and doesn’t know how to ask her out. He’s making a lot of something out of nothing. She likes him already. Like to a point where I’m almost embarrassed for her,” Beth responded for Harrison. She gave them all another unimpressed look over her phone and Henry wondered briefly where the hell she learned to do that.

“And how do you know that?” Harrison asked, raking his hands through his hair. Henry squeezed the hand still resting on Harrison’s shoulder sympathetically.

Beth scowled, looking as if Harrison had personally insulted her.

“Because it’s so obvious.”

“And how is it obvious? You’ve been on your phone the entire time. I haven’t seen you even look up once,” Harrison countered.

In a fit of frustration, Beth slammed her phone down on the table and rolled her eyes at them. She gave them a sarcastic smile before she spoke.

“Please. I’m a girl. I know these things. She laughs when you’re not even funny and flips her hair over her shoulder. Plus she was leaning a bit so you could get a view down her shirt. Not that she has much there, mind you, but she wanted you to look, Boy Scout,” she said before doing a perfect rendition of Nasira flipping her hair and batting her eyelashes at Harrison. She even added a small fake giggle for the full effect.

Wes let out a loud belly laugh at Beth’s antics, shaking his head while Harrison’s jaw dropped again. Henry couldn’t help but be a bit impressed with the imitation.

“Alright, alright, I change my advice,” Henry said with an amused smile. “Forget everything I said. Listen to Little Beth. She’s your secret weapon about the girl world. She’s the real master here. What your advice, kid? Give us your girlie wisdom.”

“I almost don’t want to help since you used the term “girlie wisdom” but since it’s Harrison’s butt on the line and not yours, I’m willing to over look it,” she said, twisting her lips into a scowl.

She looked straight at Harrison, regarding him seriously before speaking again.

“Screw the iPhone. Screw the pirate pick up lines Dad might have used. Don’t even listen to a word Wes says because he’s wrong. Like every word that leaves his mouth is wrong,” Beth said with a start.  “Just go up to her and say the following ‘Hey Nasira, I’m a ridiculous nervous-wreck of a human being who is also an idiot. I’ve been half in love with you since the moment I saw your face. Against your better judgment, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?’”

“And you think that will work?” Harrison asked skeptically.

“Yes. Stop questioning me. Go find her and just do it already, man. You’re a Jones. Find some self-confidence, please and thank you.”

Harrison must have taken this advice to heart because a week later, Henry was sitting in his kitchen with his phone in hand as he was on FaceTime with Harrison and Nasira. The latter was formally introduced to Henry as Harrison’s girlfriend and while Henry tried to get details on their first date, Nasira seemed more preoccupied with how the call was taking place.

“So, he’s thousands of miles away and we’re talking to him through this thing? This phone?” she asked, eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Correct,” Henry confirmed with a nod.

“What sorcery is this?” she breathed, amazed.

“Not sorcery, technology,” Harrison stated, placing a kiss on her cheek. Henry couldn’t help but be proud with how casual his younger brother was being with his affection.

“This technology, this phone, it’s amazing,” she exclaimed, looking very excited. “You must explain how it works. I want to know everything.”

“iPhone approach would have so worked,” Henry muttered quietly under his breath.

“What was that?” Harrison frowned. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nothing, Har Bear. Absolutely nothing.”


End file.
